Today at 12:41 pm CST, marks the official two year anniversary of Shawna and Ken's death...
Shawna Ralph and Kenneth Savage were killed on March 5, 2008 by a man named Jared Elkins in a head on collision. Jared was not paying attention to the road and was allegedly on his phone or iPod. Shawna tried to swerve away from Jared as he came right at her, but the guard rail on the side of the road stopped them from moving further away from danger and then he hit them going 60+ mph. Since they were stopped, it doubled the speed of the impact.
Ken had just turned 18 in January or that year, Shawna was exactly three weeks shy of turning 18.
They missed finals. They missed senior prom. They missed graduation. All because of one selfish, deplorable man who just couldn't bring himself to keep his eyes on the road.
I will never forget that day, or the days and weeks that followed. A black cloud seemed to hang over all who were affected, even though the sun was shining and life seemed to be moving all around us.
I always wonder, if I had only called her to invite her and Ken to lunch, would they still be here? If I had been a better friend to her, would she still be around? What if I had agreed to meet them elsewhere, would they still have met the same fate? I hate not having the answers.
Shawna was the best friend a person could ask for. To me, she was a sister. She had been one of the only friends I had that stayed true to me through thick and thin. She meant, and still means the world to me.
Ken was the funniest guy I had the pleasure of knowing. He was also very pretty, and he was well aware of this fact. But he was not as cocky as I just made him sound. Most of the time he was humble. He was sweet. He knew when he needed to listen and be a shoulder for you to cry on, and he knew when to give you one hell of a reality check. They both did.
Every day that they are gone, my heart aches for them. I never got to say "Goodbye".
All deaths are painful for those left behind, this I know. But part of me wishes I had seen this coming... Like a sickness, not an unpredictable car accident. I wish we all had more time with them... So we could all get the closure we so desperately need.I wish I could get the closure I need.
Last night, I was warning Derek and apologizing in advance for the mood I knew I was going to be in. He said there was nothing to apologize for and that he had an idea.
This idea ended up being a "going away" party of sorts. One where he said that perhaps I could call friends, reminisce, remember the good times and laugh about the bad... Because looking back, the bad times weren't really all that bad to begin with. He said we could go around and get all their favorite foods and chow down... Like Mountain Dew, Reeces, Chicken nuggets with honey, and taco bell. He said since they both loved Tim Burton, we could also go and watch Alice in Wonderland, and they really would have loved that movie.
When he first suggested it, part of me thought it was a great idea, the other part of me thought it was stupid because all I really wanted to do was crawl into bed, curl up into a ball, cry, and pretend this day didn't exist. But now, I'm starting to think it will be very cathartic.
Perhaps they are up there wanting to party, too.